Crying Like Shit Just Wanna See Him Again
October ten, 2011 • Contributed by Cynthia Westward. Lubow, MS, MFT
This article is office of a series that explores the means specific "clusters" of depression symptoms manifest to create dissimilar experiences of low. The previous article in this series discussed the hopeless experience.
The irritable or aroused experience of depression is often non recognized every bit depression, either by the person who experiences it or past those effectually and then. For the person experiencing this kind of depression, the people effectually them may seem disappointing, irritating, or intolerable, and the depressed person may experience as emotionally uncomfortable as someone with severe poison oak feels physically. They may experience very frustrated that they can't go the people who seem to exist causing their suffering to alter. People effectually the angry or irritable depressed person may encounter them as hateful, angry, or a cracking. It may non fifty-fifty occur to onlookers that this person could exist depressed.
Observe a Therapist for Depression
Irritability and Anger in Men and Women
I believe men and women may express this experience differently. Many men feel a peachy deal of pressure non to cry or express vulnerability, so when they go depressed, anger tin exist a more acceptable way to experience the emotional pain they're feeling. Men may also feel more force per unit area to non feel anything, and so plow to drugs and alcohol when they're in emotional pain to attempt to numb themselves. And then while we associate crying with depression, men may not weep and all the same exist just as depressed every bit those who practice. I believe this is the main reason women are diagnosed with depression near twice equally often as men are: many men who are depressed aren't getting the aid they need.
When men are depressed and express it equally anger, violence, or addiction, the consequences may further distract from getting the help they demand. These consequences can be extreme, similar jail or chasing a high, merely they may also take the course of loneliness and isolation later on alienating people. Self-hate may grow inside as depression festers, and the consequences of anger create more than and more to hate.
Women are certainly non allowed to experiencing depression as anger. Frequently in women it comes out as irritability, specially with their children. This too may go undetected because sometimes, only their children run across it, and children rarely call a therapist for their mother.
How Anger Manifests
In that location are ii types of anger:
- One is a response to something hurtful or unfair happening to or effectually the person who feels angry.
- The other is a protection against feeling something more than vulnerable.
When someone has been abused or traumatized, they certainly accept reason to be angry and often don't take a chance to express it when the trauma occurs. So anger may linger every bit a symptom of posttraumatic stress or may become incorporated into a person's personality over fourth dimension. When that happens, people feel angry a great deal of the time, and the acrimony isn't just anger anymore—it becomes a way of life. It's probable the anger develops this way in order to protect the person from farther abuse and from the painful feelings of sadness, hurt, and fear that were also a role of the traumatic experience.
Archetype examples of depression expressed every bit anger include veterans who come home from combat with the experiences of terror of imminent death, sadness from losing friends who were killed, and systematic emotional training to channel all these feelings into anger, revenge, and warfare. Coming home with all of this, it's not hard to sympathize why a veteran would be depressed, or why they would limited it through domestic violence, picking fights, or even simply caustic cynicism. Police officers tin have a similar feel, every bit can people who grow up with angry or sadistic parents who repeatedly abuse them. Fifty-fifty people whose parents used them for their own needs, without concern for their child'southward emotional needs, may carry chronic anger that covers the hurt, sadness, and fear.
The Roots of Anger and Depression
In fact, anger nigh always covers or is accompanied by hurt, sadness, or fear. When anger is helpfully expressed and begins to resolve, it nearly ever dissolves into tears and more vulnerable feelings. Normally, as long as a person sticks with the anger, they are stuck in the depression.
One way to look at this is that "frozen" feelings are oftentimes at the root of depression. Someone who feels and/or expresses only anger probably has frozen hurt, fear, shame, guilt, or sadness. Someone who never feels or expresses anger may have frozen acrimony. In either case, the person may exist depressed and suffering and probably will continue to suffer until their frozen feelings are safely unlocked, expressed, and resolved.
While feelings of anger caused past low can feel overwhelming, the back up of a therapist helps many people work through these feelings and address their depression in a healthy style. First here to find a therapist near yous who tin can help.
© Copyright 2011 by Cynthia Westward. Lubow, MS, MFT. All Rights Reserved. Permission to publish granted to GoodTherapy.org.
The preceding article was solely written by the writer named to a higher place. Any views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by GoodTherapy.org. Questions or concerns about the preceding article can be directed to the author or posted as a comment beneath.
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Source: https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/irritable-angry-depression-experience/
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